Reasons to not write:
Everything has been written.
There are things happening in the world that have more consequence and importance than the things I write about.
Writings can come across as definitive and conclusive when put out, when they never are.
Though no one ever thinks the worst of me, I feel trapped in my 10-year-old self whose words were picked apart and doubted; a part of me believes that my words will be used against me.
Offering up opportunity to be misunderstood makes me feel vulnerable.
Insecurities of being perceived as emotional, sensitive, neurotic, and indulgent. But then again, I can be emotional, sensitive, neurotic, and indulgent.
“So what?”
Not always, but my writing can feel insufficient, defensive, peripheral, so I self-edit, until there’s nothing left.
Everything that comes before writing and after writing is not solitary, but writing in itself is. I think that, as a whole, is why it feels like something I am called to do, yet makes me feel lonely so…
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